I am not. Merlin would never intentionally upset me, so why would I allow something out of his control to do so? He would be rather disappointed in me if I were to falter under such circumstances.

[ Even if he's returned to his death, she can't help but know that feeling all too well. The two were on borrowed time, both long deceased if they were to return home. ]

Yes, but she is waiting for you to return home.